PokerStars 70 billionth hand just hours away

ps_news_thn.jpgI'm drinking Caribou Coffee. As near as I can tell, no real caribous went into the production. In any case, it's doing the trick. I'm just about as jacked up as I can be as I watch the PokerStars 70 billionth hand clock make its way to the big one. If my mass consumption of black coffee isn't a good tipoff, the 70 billionth hand is going to hit before I sleep again. If that's not a big enough hint, let me just lay it out for you here: start drinking coffee now, because the 70 billionth hand is coming.

You might have seen me write about Bunker Bob in the past. Bob is this guy who has worked for PokerStars for a long time. During big promotions like this one, he camps out in an abandoned fallout shelter at PokerStars HQ, he chats with a marmot that delivers his messages, and he performs New Math calculations with the aid of a calculator, abacus, and some weird glowing thing he picked up on the black market. Today, I had the pleasure of chatting with Bunker Bob once again. Here is a rough transcription of my quotes from the interview:

"Sometime tonight. Or in the morning. It depends on where you are. You've heard of time zones, right? RIGHT? I'm sorry. I drank too much Caribou this morning. Anyway. Tonight. Or in the morning. ARE YOU DEAF? Do I look like I have bugs crawling on me, because I feel like--anyway, tonight. Or overnight. Or morning. Time zones, man."

Bob has been responsible for a lot recently, so we can cut him some slack. He doesn't sleep much. He's too busy giving out money to all of these people who are hitting the the milestone hands.

If you've not been keeping up with us, you should know this much: PokerStars is giving away money all day today (as it has been all week) to the above milestone hand winners. Sometime before I bed down for the night, somebody is going to hit the big one.

Here's how it's been working: Everybody dealt into a milestone hand gets $50 plus another $50 for every VIP Player Point they earned in the previous 50 hands. In the 70 billionth hand tonight, whoever wins the hand gets at least $70,000. So, you can sort of get why Bob and I are on the caffeine horse right now.

We've been here before. Back in July a guy from New New Zealand, "yllams", won the 65 billionth hand and $68,420 at a $0.10/$0.25 six-max table. Tonight's celebration will look a lot like this:


PokerStars 65 billionth hand

I hope I've been clear enough here, but I'll concede that the caffeine may be hurting the clarity a bit. So, bullet pointing it:

  • PokerStars is giving away money all day when players hit milestone hands.
  • The Big 70 billionth hand is going to hit sometime before the weekend, and probably sooner than you think.
  • Coffee.
  • For all the details you need on the promotion, visit the Road to 100 Billion homepage.

    In the meantime, put on your multi-tabling shoes. Bob may be a crazy bunker-dweller, but I've not seen him be wrong yet*, so we can count on the big hand coming soon. Get to work.

    *While Bob is as trustworthy as they come, don't trust that marmot of his. He's sneaky.

    Brad Willis
    @BradWillis in PokerStars news