Daddy plays poker
I have two kids, a 3-year old girl and a 1-year old boy. No matter what I write later I love them enormously and I think having kids is the best thing that has happened in my life.
That said I will freely confess that those little creatures can be a serious pain in the butt, especially if you are a poker player.
Being a poker player is not excatly a 9-to-5 job. Sometimes there is a suitable game and sometimes not, sometimes you feel like playing and sometimes you don't. And sometimes the sessions take a lot longer than you thought.
My younger one wakes up around 7AM. Every morning. It does no good to reason with him and tell him that daddy played all night and daddy would like to sleep few more hours. He will transform into a living fire alarm unless you pick him up from the bed and change diapers, feed him and let him start exploring the world.
Snoozing around while he is awake is also a bad idea. He will start eating the small objects he might find or lick the electric plug the moment you close your eyes. Playing poker with your laptop is not recommended either. When you least suspect he is suddenly there, drooling to the keyboard, and tries to hit fold when you just made your flush.
Two things I am sure about: Do not seriously try to play poker with your kids around and do not start a session in the evening if you need to wake up with the kids in the morning.
However, with kids there are some amazing upsides too. I often feel somewhat depressed after a rough poker session. It used to take me hours if not days to get over that feeling. You feel like a failure.
Just seeing your kids takes away that bad feeling immediately. You instantly perceive things in a positive way. It might sound silly, but once you see your kid smiling you feel like a winner, no matter what happens in the game.
You don't need to be the best player in the world because for your kids you are still awesome. I have an agreement with my daughter that if I call her a princess she will call me the emperor. It doesn't matter if I suck at poker, it is much better to be an emperor.
Although the idea of being an emperor loses some value when you hear it in a sentence: "Empelol, bling me mole apple juice!"