PCA 2015: But where will we buy our X-ray glasses and sea monkeys?

Dan Heimiller returned to a third-place stack among the final 11 in today's PCA High Roller, and after early action he's moved into the chip lead.

Since the 1990s Heimiller has been collecting cashes regularly on all of the major tours, picking up nearly $5 million in winnings along the way. Also back in the day, Heimiller earned for himself a WCOOP title as "Lenny" on PokerStars.

Heimiller is coming off a successful 2014 in which he cashed 37 times in tournaments. His Twitter followers know he cashed 37 times, because each time he does Heimiller makes it a practice to tweet to them a clip showing a performance of "The Gold Diggers' Song (We're in the Money)" first made popular in the 1933 film.

While the song remains the same, the performances Heimiller chooses to share are often different, from various films and Broadway performances. After all, each cash is different... and worthy of celebrating, too.

Speaking of social media, Heimiller has long been associated with a website bearing his name, one constructed some time ago. Something of an artifact of earlier web design, the site featured various pages detailing some of Heimiller's poker-related successes, plus much else to entertain visitors.

We speak of the site in the past tense, sadly, because at the moment it appears to be offline, a circumstance which Team PokerStars Pro Online member Mickey Petersen noted a short while ago in a message to Heimiller:

Searching our memories (and other references online), we recall some of the blurb-like notices scattered throughout the site documenting Heimiller's poker prowess:

"If I cash at the world series 20 more times I'll go from 35th to 5th in all-time cash outs at the World Series of poker tournaments!"

"As I speak I've won $1,716,155 in Tournaments! Of course I've lost $1,716,135 in entries, but that still makes me a $20 lifetime Winner!! Much better than most!"

"I finished third in the University of Detroit Toothpick Bridge contest."

With less specificity we recall other bullet points and word bubbles, such as one about ordering X-ray glasses with which to get an edge on your opponents. There was other advice in there about "getting even with the man," we're sure. And most memorably, an advertisement for sea monkeys such as one used to find in comic books.

Petersen's lament about the site's non-accessibility is shared by many of us, especially today as we wait to see where Heimiller will finish. And which version of "We're in the Money" he will tweet afterwards.

But wait... there's hope! In between hands at the secondary feature table, Heimiller has responded to Petersen regarding his currently dark dot-com:

The news makes us want to sing and dance.

"We're in the money... the sky is sunny... Old Man Depression, you are through, you done us wrong!"

Dan Heimiller_2015 PCA_25K High Roller_Day 3_Giron_8JG0721.jpg

Follow me @danheimiller

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Martin Harris is Freelance Contributor to the PokerStars Blog.