WSOP Main Event: The ballad of ElkY
In a post-apocalyptic world--the one tired and washed out after the Casino Cough pandemic--there will be a minstrel with a lute who sits by trash can fires and sings a tale of the man known as ElkY.
The epic song will wind through many a victory scored by the Mad Max of the poker world, the warrior who ran roughshod over the Bahamas, who set afire the Bellagio lakes at Festa al Lago, who personally destroyed the world known as WCOOP. This new world bard will sing of platinum blonde hair, reflecting eyes, and a half smile that suggests ElkY either just ate your lunch or your house pet. It will leave Ulysses as a mere chilld in the annals of traveling heroes.
Before the pandemic, we have no way of knowing how this singer's warbling voice will finish the song, but we're sure of this: when the song reaches the 2009 WSOP, it will suffer a depressing decrescendo as it tells of what could have been.
Indeed, we know the story of Betrand "ElkY" Grospellier coming out of the Main Event's Day 3 with the chip lead. His smile was wide. Women from here to the Spearmint Rhino spoke his name in reverent tones. His stark visage was plastered across the top poker magazine. This was ElkY's world and we only lived in it.
If that night could've lasted forever, ElkY would've ruled the world. He could've sat atop a mountain, pointed his fingers to the sky, and made the clouds rain baby rabbits and kittens. Instead, the night lasted a duration the Mayans would have appreciated and ElkY came back from Day 4. From that point forward, the story became a tragedy that might only have been rivaled by doomed king Oedipus (although, to be fair, ElkY's mother never entered the equation).
ElkY merely survived Day 4 and 5 and his stack never grew. He was a hero with a giant heart that wouldn't beat. Indignity after indignity, cooler after cooler, and miss after miss, the story told of tragic failure without an identified tragic flaw.
Of course, this story ends as we described in our last post. ElkY's big slick falling to two kings all-in pre-flop. Having lasted through 6,300 people, ElkY's horse collapsed with 122 people remaining.
Who knows what the traveling minstrel will sing in the fallout-sunset of this doomed world? We know he'll sing of ElkY. We know he will sing sadly and we know he will sing with joy. We can only assume, in the end, ElkY will still rule the world. His reign simply won't begin at the 2009 World Series of Poker.
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FOLD OF THE HOUR
Noah Boeken raised pre-flop and got two callers. The flop came A-A-9 and Boeken bet. One player called and then that same player moved all in after Boeken had bet the blank turn. Boeken told our Swedish reporter that he folded ace-queen, and he was shown pocket nines by his opponent. Good fold.
SUPERFLUOUS SECURITY MEASURE OF THE HOUR
The chains across the door of the now-deserted poker kitchen.
OVERHEARD CONVERSATION OF THE HOUR
#1: My name is Caspar.
#2: Casper? Like the ghost?
#1: Yes, but I am real.
STATISTIC OF THE HOUR
Number of Rounder marketing girls facing the secondary feature table: 4
Number of Rounder marketing girls watching the secondary feature table: 0
OUT OF CONTEXT QUOTE OF THE HOUR
#1: "We had this discussion and it's 15 all the way..."
#2" "No, it's five a**hole. Five. It's five. It's five..."
RAILBIRD OUTSIDE THE AMAZON ROOM QUOTE OF THE HOUR
"Ready to go watch some people sitting in a circle?"