WSOP Main Event Day 1B: Of crutches and leg breakers
Brazilian Team PokerStars Pro Maria "maridu" Mayrinck is not a quiet woman. It is expected that she will chat, coffeehouse, or yell at almost every opportunity. It's always entertaining, usually important, and, again, almost inevitably loud. So, when maridu whispers, she might as well be E.F. Hutton.
This afternoon, she stood from her chair and with as low a voice possible said, "Do you know who that is. That's Anthony Soprano, Jr."
Now, we know that actors aren't their characters. Jason Alexander is not George Costanza. Wil Wheaton is not Wesley Crusher. Robber Iler is not A.J. Soprano. But, damn, if we didn't get that creepy feeling when we looked at him.
Anyone who watched The Sopranos for any amount of time could predict young A.J.'s evolution. From his role as the innocent child of a mobbed up family man, the kid was on a road to pure mafia don. If the series had continued for another decade, A.J. would've been sawing people up in a bathtub and making sweet, sweet love to his goomah.
So, yeah, we know Iler isn't really a Soprano, but you get married to a cast of characters for several years and then try to sit across from a guy who lived in your suspension of disbelief for a very long time. Really, just try to check-raise him without thinking of Pauly Walnuts standing over your bed with a Louisville Slugger. You probably won't be able to do it.
Mayrinck wasn't taking any chances. While she was still in a whisper, she was certain anyone could be listening. "I mean," she said, "I think it's pretty cool."
Maridu's biggest problem here is that she takes no prisoners when competing. We've seen her eviscerate dear friends at the table. She won't be able to stop herself if she picks up a hand against Iler. When we say we hope she survives to Day 2, we're speaking literally. She'll be lucky to get out of the room without walking on crutches.
Speaking of which, we're not entirely sure French Team PokerStars Pro Arnaud Mattern didn't run into some trouble with the local wise guys. Poor dude is in a cast and on crutches. Mattern is claiming a broken ankle due to a tennis mishap. We're pretending to believe him.
Of course, Mattern is no longer just broken. He's broke. Busto. Eliminated from the WSOP.
No doubt, folks, poker is a brutal game. A day that passes without a ruined lifelong dream is like a day that passes without an afternoon. The only thing that could make it hurt more is a daily session of leg-breaking. We've suggested to the WSOP steering committee that they give out crutches instead of food comps. We're awaiting an answer.
SELECTED CHIP COUNTS OF THE HOUR
Johnny Lodden: 29,800
Florian Langmann: 30,100
Julien Brecard: 13,000
Vadim Markushevski: 41,200
Marcello del Grosso: 42,500
Maria Mayrinck: 30,000
TWEET OF THE HOUR
Gavin Griffin: "22kish first break, won one pot, then got congratulated on my first bracelet. #wsop57" (If you miss the comedy...Gavin Griffin won his first bracelet years ago. Gavin Smith, however, won his first bracelet a few weeks ago).
INFORMATION OF THE HOUR
Me: "What day is Johnny Lodden playing?"
Lina Olofsson (of PokerStars Blog.nu): Tomorrow.
SURPRISING SIGHT OF THE HOUR
Johnny Lodden, sitting in the orange section of the Amazon Room.
MISINFORMATION OF THE HOUR
See "Information of the Hour" above.
OUT OF CONTEXT QUOTE OF THE HOUR
"I would have talked to him, but he was standing next to the only man in poker who has ever threatened to rip my head off." - Anonymous