Among the best writers–if not the best–on Team PokerStars Pro is Ms. Vicky Coren. We’re very happy when we get a submission from the lady who wrote the book on poker (or, a book at least, titled For Richer, For Poorer), not to mention who wrote the book on pornography (you’ll have to Google that one yourself). Alas, her time to write has been better spent playing in WCOOP. Or has it it? As of right now, the answer may not be as easy as it seems.

by Victoria Coren

There you are: immediate punishment.

For my opening WCOOP events, my stats were: played 4, cashed 3. And you know what I did? I COMPLAINED.

I complained because in Europe, cashing in the WCOOPs means being awake overnight. I was up til 7 in the morning playing the $530 NLH, the $215 4-max NLH and the Badugi, cashing for about $800 each time. And I moaned about it on Twitter.They weren’t so much tweets as whines. I moaned about not getting deeper in the tournament, about being tired, about it being not enough money for a whole night without sleep.


There is literally nothing better in this world than staying up all night playing Badugi. Never mind “eating foie gras to the sound of trumpets”, my personal heaven is Badugi til dawn. It’s all I ever wanted. I have carefully constructed my entire life around creating space to play poker all night. All I want to do is play poker all night. I have AVOIDED HAVING CHILDREN because it might stop me playing poker all night.

So what’s to complain? And $800 is not to be sneezed at. $800 is a lot of money in the real world. It’s a lot of nice dinners, it’s a weekend in the country, it’s redecorating the bathroom.

But I was punished for my ingratitude, don’t worry about that. Two nights ago, I was in the $1050 NLH until 7 in the morning for no money at all. 608th out of 3268, when 495 get paid.

Boy, that was a long night. It’s the fourth one that hurts. While playing, I watched three films, read an entire book and drank approximately 840 cups of tea. Anything to stay awake. And you know what? When I went out, bang, for no money, I soon realized the joy of winning $800 on previous occasions.

But this is not a moan. I have decided to be honest with myself and accept what makes me tick. The best thing in the world is playing poker all night and winning some money, any money at all. But the second best thing is playing poker all night and not winning.


Pah, that’s just a waste of time.

Vicky Coren is a member of Team PokerStars, not to mention a writer, presenter, and all-around nice person.



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