My son impresses me daily. He is five years old. He lectures me on Scandinavian history, the geography of the United Kingdom, and the latest developments in multiplication. Because he is apparently smarter than me, I’m asking him to consult on this massive affair that was SCOOP Event #28-L, the $11 rebuy explosion.
See, the numbers in this thing were just ridiculous.
Entries: 11,674 (equivalent to the approximate population of Naduvattam, india)
Rebuys: 18,104 (the zip code of Allentown, PA)
Add-ons: 8,408 (the number of Strom, a Main-belt Asteroid discovered on September 18, 1995)
Places paid: 1,710 (the year Jakob Christof Le Blon invented the three-color printing process)
First place: $51,298 (a seemingly unique number that isn’t used for anything else in the world but first place in this tournament)
My kid suggests that, interpreted together, the numbers above indicate the world is going to end this year, and not, as everyone suggests, in 2012. With that in mind, please consider this as my final message to whatever society follows ours.
“This was a big tournament.”
Here’s how the beginning of the end looked.
Seat 1: khanrava (11701508 in chips)
Seat 2: KJs257 (18020542 in chips)
Seat 3: Bibirico (2810570 in chips)
Seat 4: ddsuperii (40210486 in chips)
Seat 5: darkhawk-200 (23366367 in chips)
Seat 6: blackdds (11104611 in chips)
Seat 7: weaselypro (7363108 in chips)
Seat 8: arodss3 (9215735 in chips)
Seat 9: adler11 (7851073 in chips)
WE’RE ALL HUMAN
Alright, so you might notice a little something about that picture above. It only shows an eight-handed final table. I could tell you some story about a double-bustout on the final table bubble, something about the vagaries of rebuy play that only allow for eight-handed final tables, or that I was readying my family for the inevitable fiery end. But, in truth, I dozed off for a couple of minutes just before the final table began.
Don’t judge me.
Fortunately, through the miracles of modern science, we’ve been able to recreate the first bustout of the final table. And it is a doozy.
For ninth place, adler11 won $2,296.
NOW IT’S OVER?
When the final table began, host Raymond Wu introduced himself. Almost immediately, khanrava asked Wu, “Do you know any of the PokerStars bloggers?”
Wu admitted that he had met some of us, but not all.
“F-Train?” kahnrava asked.
I was bleary-eyed. It was nearing 7am. My world was awash in numbers and fear about the afterlife. I could only think, “My heavens. They are stalking F-Train again.” Ever since he founded that cult built around big blinds, average stacks, and witchcraft, the poker players have been after him.
Wu (who we’re betting couldn’t pick any of us out of a police line-up) said he didn’t remember F-Train. It mattered not. Khanrava simply wanted a message passed along.
It seems ol’ khanrava made the final table of Event 22-Low $33 No-Limit Hold’em [4-max] the other night. He placed second for $22,096 and managed to crack a few jokes along the way. F-Train wrote that the end of the tournament meant khanrava’s SCOOP comedy career was over.
“I just wanted to tell him it’s not,” khanrava said.
In other words, in your face, F-Train.
It wasn’t too much later, with the blinds at 200,000/400,000, khanrava raised 499,999 to 899,999 (a funny bet if I’ve ever seen one…). KJs257 straightened things out with a 1,500,001 raise to to 2,400,000. Not one to be outdone, khanrava pushed all-in. What he might not have expected (and certainly did not find funny) was the call.
KJs257: shows K♠A♥
“Thought you were messing with me,” khanrava said.
The board bricked out and khanrava was gone in eighth place for $3,827.
I personally have no comment on khanrava’s comedy career.
HIS LAST ALL-IN
Whether it was the early morning air or the sound of the morning birds’ sweet call across the air, ddsuperii was feeling his oats. With a little less than ten million chips in front of him at the 250,000/500,000 level, ddsuperii took to moving all-in. He did it once. Winner. He did it twice. Winner again!
The third time was less than charming.
There would be no sucking out this time and ddsuperii was gone in seventh place for $7,655.
JUST KEEP ON GETTING IT IN!
As if it to prove the best hand was going to keep holding up, weaselyypro (the best screen name of the night, by the way) got it all in pre-flop for about 22 big blinds with Q♠A♠. It was the wrong time, though. Bibirico held two red queens, a testament to the best’s hand’s staying power. With that weaselypro was gone for $11,482.
REFUSING TO BE NEXT
Word of a deal started to circulate, but arodss3 only wanted to make it happen if he could get some extra. He dubbed himself the most experienced at the final table and felt it necessary to mention his $100,000 in profit on PokerStars. The deal was not to be then or the next time it was discussed.
See, KJs257 had a pretty nice chip lead and everybody else was pretty close in chips. Nobody really wanted to risk being the next out. But, because the world is ending, somebody had to be. Darkhawk-200 decided to make a move with 6♠7♠. The timing was as bad as it could be, as arodss3 (he of the $100,000 in profit) had 9♦9♣. Darkhawk-200 couldn’t catch up and was gone in fifth place for $15,310.40.
THE NUTS, YOU SAY!
Bibirico had about 16 big blinds left in his stack and watched as KJs257 limped in from the small blind. Both players checked the 7♠3♠A♣ flop. KJs257 checked the 4♥ on the turn, so Bibirico bet a million. KJs257 raised to three million. Bibirico said, in so many words, “Oh, yeah? Stick it!” and shoved all-in for more than 15 million. Cue the snap call and KJs257’s 5♣6♠. Bibirico had 7♦5♦ for the chop-draw that didn’t materialize. Out in fourth, Bibirico picked up $19,138.
WAIT, THAT’S NOT A RACE
Normally this is the point where a race would develop, and when arodss3 got it all-in with blackdds, we fully expected to see something like pocket fours versus ace-jack. Because the world is ending, we saw no such thing.
Neither player picked up as much as a pair and Blackdds was gone in third place for $26,793.
VICTORY OF THE EXCEEDINGLY POLITE
And so we made it to heads-up play with the following chip counts.
Seat 2: KJs257 (81819628 in chips)
Seat 8: arodss3 (49824372 in chips)
Those people who were paying close attention would know that every attempt to strike a deal fell apart because arodss3 insisted on being paid $30,000 before he would agree. No one else would agree to those terms, so play moved on with arodss3 now being guaranteed more than he demanded earlier. That’s when things got really polite. The guys stumbled over themselves being nice to each other. It was like the last big emotional scene before a Hollywood movie earth explosion.
In the end, it would all go down like this:
KJs257 min-raised to two million and arodss3 called. On a flop of 3♠10♥5♠, arodss2 checked, KJs257 bet three million, and arodss3 moved all-in. In went the call and led us to a fitting end:
Arodss3 missed on the turn and river and, just like that, it was over (the tournament, not the world–we’re checking to see why that didn’t end, too).
Arodss3 won $36,025. KJs257 pulled $51,298 for the victory.
To recap: The world was supposed to end. It didn’t. Khanrava’s career in SCOOP comedy is apparently alive and well. SCOOP continues. We all get a few hours of shuteye.
Congrats to KJs257 for the victory.
SCOOP Event #28-Low, $11 NLHE Rebuy
1. KJs257 ($51,298)
2. Arodss3 ($36,025)
3. Blackdds ($26,793)
4. Bibirico ($19,138)
5. darkhawk-200 ($15,310)
6. weaselypro ($11,482)
7. ddsuperii ($7,655)
8. khanrava ($3,827)
9. adler11 ($2,296)